September 25, 2015 League News - posted 09-30-2015
September 25, 2015 League News
Written By The Hedgehog
GAME 1 – Old Brigands vs. 5 Stars
Moe and his bionic knees were in net for the Old Brigands and Chef Mackenzie was tending the posts for the 5 Stars. With four runners aside, the ball was dropped and we were underway.
The 5 Stars put the pressure on early and after several chances, Simon “Daniel Alfredsson and I go to the same hair salon” Blais set up Captain Batstone to make it 1-0 for the 5 Stars.
Jersey Dan connected later in the period with a Captain Batstone on a perfect cross ice pass to make it 2-0.
Aside from a cry of, “Ouch, my ankles!” Not much else was heard from the Old Brigands in the first frame.
The second period opened with a flurry of action and the dynamic duo of Lipton and Raymon connected to get the Old Brigands on the board, 2-1!
On the official score sheet is says Old Bastards but I haven’t seen any official paperwork filed with the league indicating a request for a team name change or any confirmation that a rum exists called Old Bastard. So, I Googled it! If you search for “Old Bastard Rum” and then click on images, the very first picture is of Ron Jeremy with a bottle of rum and a glass in his hand! I shit you negative! Apparently, the Hedgehog has his own rum called Ron de Jeremy and it has a long smooth taste! Here is the official review:
“The man dubbed the hedgehog Ron Jeremy has his own line of what they are calling Adult Rum with a Long Smooth Taste hand crafted by 72-year old master distiller Francisco “Don Pancho” Fernandez, but honestly I don’t want anything that has to do with Ron Jeremy anywhere near my mouth.”
Back to the action…
Midway through the period Matt “My ankles hurt” Dyer picked off a clearing pass and tied it at 2-2. After being kept off the score sheet last week, Dyer fell to his knees and kissed the ground after scoring the goal!
With time winding down in the period of a close checking game, Raymon “Elbows” Van Anrooy drove to the net and Captain Gallagher unloaded a bullet from his side of center. Raymon made the deflection and the ball hit not 1, not 2 but 3 posts before going in the net and giving the Old B---a-ds a 3-2 lead!
With the 5 Stars looking deflated, they tried to pull themselves back together and push towards the tying goal.
Then it happened…PENALTY!!!
5 Stars elect to take the Penalty Shot. Jersey Dan is the shooter…
With speed and grace he approached the goalie, some quick stick handling and he got Moe to spread his legs like it was prom night! GOOOOOOOOAAALLLL!!!!
3-3 and that is how it would end.
GAME 2 – Zacapas vs. El Dorados
Matt “the Cricketer” Mackay was in net for the Zacapas and Chef Mackenzie filled in for an absent Booboo “I’m at the Jays game” Lashley.
The Zacapas were sporting a solid 4 player line up, while the El Dorados only has 3 runners and were looking a little out gunned on paper.
Well folks it wasn’t just on paper. 1 Zacapa, 2 Zacapa, 3 Zacapa, Four, 5 Zacapa, 6 Zacapa…half time. 6-0.
The Zacapas were dominant. So dominant, that the entire crowd, and at least one of the refs, were cheering for the El Dorados. There were a few flashes of brilliance from the El Dorados, including an end to end bull rush by Dr. Bruce, where he looked like Bobby Orr (Ok, maybe like Bobby Orr’s unknown bastard son, but there has to be some genetic link!) except for the end when he was supposed score. POST! Wide Open Net! POST!!!
At half time the El Dorados came together to review their game plan.
As the second half started, the El Dorados employed the rarely used Zone Defense. The slowed the game down and kept the Zacapas to the outside and just looked for their opportunities.
Captain Gibbs cut off a pass and fed Dr. Bruce, who made no mistake and buried it past Mackay to make it 6-1. They were on the board and beaming with confidence.
This wasn’t just zone defense, this was half court zone defense folks. They fell back to their side of center and let the Zacapas bring the ball to half court. Solid D, PJ gets the loose ball to Dr. Bruce, 6-2!
Could we be seeing the makings of a miracle comeback! Nope. Josh unassisted. 7-2.
Matt from GG to make it an 8-2 final but the El Dorados were feeling good about the second have 2-2 score and make have a game plan in place next time…watch out Zacapas!
On to the PGA
The PGA was well attended and copious refreshments were served. Mrs. Dr. Bruce stopped by with some off-spring but when a certain CFO started to get a little chatty, the ladies regrouped and off they went.
Set Up Time is 8:00 pm at Briar Hall – Please be there to set up and stay to help put gear away.
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